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Just Jane: My fella's joined a sex club

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jj1 GETTY
DIRTY DOZEN: He says I'm not enough for him
He concedes that our sex life is OK, but he needs much more than I’m willing or able to give.
As a result he’s now joined a private (sex) club where like-minded souls facilitate the kind of kinky “role-playing” sessions he enjoys.
I feel like such a loser.
He insists that he doesn’t fancy any of the 12 other members and there’s no chance of him falling in love because I’m his life partner and that’s that.
“You’d be much better off telling him goodbye and starting again”
Jane O'Gorman
But how am I supposed to feel?
For years he’s wanted me to pretend to be everyone from a dominatrix to a naughty nurse and I’ve always refused point blank.
Now I feel betrayed and soiled.
I’m humiliated too as he makes no secret of his new “hobby” and has told people about it. How can we stay together?
jj2 GETTY
BETRAYED: He's made no secret of his new 'hobby'
JANE SAYS: Most couples sort out their problems with compromise and conversation, but if your man has needs that you aren’t willing to fulfil and he thinks nothing of playing around with 12 other people, then can you and he ever make each other truly happy?
I wonder if you have a future at all. What is your limit?
At what point do you say “enough” and walk away from a situation that is both hurting and humiliating you?
Not only do you need to think about your public reputation and your feelings, but your sexual health too. 
Also, how can he absolutely guarantee that he won’t start an emotional attachment with one of his new playmates?
Remember that with intimacy often comes love. He’s not a robot, how can he predict what’s going to happen down the line?
Consider contacting Relate (relate.org. uk) either with or without him.
Personally, I think this relationship has run its course and that you’d be much better off telling him goodbye and starting again.

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