Kesha lifts the lid: ‘Pop stars can’t eat food’
POP star Kesha opens up about the depths of the eating disorder that sent her to rehab in an illuminating new interview.
SINGER Kesha has opened up about her past struggle with eating disorders during a frank new cover story with Rolling Stone magazine.
In early 2014, the star checked into a rehab facility for eating disorder treatment. She’d been battling with bulimia ever since signing her first record deal, struggling to fit into what she thought was the pop star mould.
Kesha, 30, told Rolling Stone “certain people” around her would shame her for her food habits (in court papers, she accused her ex-musical collaborator Dr. Luke of calling her a “fat f**king refrigerator”, a claim he denies).
“I really just thought I wasn’t supposed to eat food,” she said.
Kesha: ‘I really just thought I wasn’t supposed to eat food.’ Picture: GettySource:Getty Images
“And then if I ever did, I felt very ashamed, and I would make myself throw up because I’d think, ‘Oh, my God, I can’t believe I actually did that horrible thing. I’m so ashamed of myself because I don’t deserve to eat food’.”
Kesha said she was “slowly starving,” a situation not helped by the fact that the sicker she got, the better people told her she looked.
“They would just be like, ‘Oh, my gosh, keep doing whatever you’re doing! You look so beautiful, so stunning’.”
The singer said her eating issues came to a head one night during a dinner party with friends and family when she struggled to hide the fact that she wasn’t actually eating anything.
“And I was like, ‘Oh, my God, what if they walk outside and see this food in a bush? Or they see it in the garbage can?’“ she recalled.
“And I am so anxious that I feel like I’m going to explode from all the secrets. All the secret times I’m pretending to eat or other times I’m purging, and I’m trying to not let anybody know. And I’m just f**king sick of this s**t. And I remember just shaking because I was so fed up, so anxious, and I was just mad that I had let myself get to that point.”
Kesha circa 2010, pre-rehab — and battling a chronic eating disorder. Picture: AFPSource:AFP
From there, Kesha travelled with her mother — country songwriter Pepe Sebert — to rehab, where she slowly relearned healthy eating behaviours. She told Rolling Stone it did not come easy.
“[I was] being like, ‘I can’t eat it. It’s going to make me fat, and if I’m fat, I can’t be a singer because pop stars can’t eat food — they can’t be fat.’”
Out of rehab — and with the trauma of a much-publicised court case against Dr Luke behind her — Kesha’s once again immersed in her work.
She recently mounted a successful musical comeback recently with the chart-topping album Rainbow, her first in five years. She credited friends and family with helping her make it through — including Taylor Swift, who donated a quarter of a million dollars to help cover Kesha’s mounting legal costs during her court battle.
Swift, she told Rolling Stone, is “a f**king sweetheart. Very, very sweet, very, very genuine, extremely generous, picks up the phone every time I call her. My mum doesn’t even always pick up the phone!”
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